Two years. It has been two years that the man I loved announced me he didn't love me anymore. Two years. I can't believe it. It feels so far. Still one day he stepped away and our family of four was no more. That was so scary. What do you do when everything that you know as true disappear after 20 years? Nothing. You just let go.
He was a wonderful husband. One I wish to any woman even for 20 years. He was a good friend and fortunately is still in so many ways. He is an amazing dad to our boys and that he will always be. He chose a path less traveled and it was his choice and I respect him for that. He didn't do it to hurt me. I know I would never hurt me. He chose to live the life he wanted and that is his absolute right. Still, I had to let go.
It was not easy and then it became easier. Two years ago, I learned to walk on my own. Obviously, I started by crawling and stumbling but soon enough I was running throughout life. Faster than I ever did. Faster than I though I could.
I met new friends. Wow! So many of them. I met new men. Guys, I never thought you would be so great. So many conversations. So many sweet moments. I am so glad I met you for an hour or for months, I am so grateful for every single one of you.
I learned that I didn't need any one to be happy, that some time a walk by the ocean by yourself can be a pure moment of bliss. I discovered that I could step in a room full of strangers and still feel full knowing who I was. I would talk to those I never met before and open my heart only to see their heart opening too. I would walk up to them with a smile and always got a smile back.
And then came the days when I just stayed alone, working, writing, sculpting, doing nothing or actually doing one of the most important thing I learned: being in the present. Breathing, living, enjoying the air around me, the sounds or the smells we never pay attention to. Just being there. Just being happy. Just being...