It was my wedding day. The ceremony was nice and emotional but, as soon as we arrived at the reception, I knew something was off. I was sitting next to my new husband when my mom walked up to me, flowers in hand …dressed up as a clown. She had organized a play and at this instant she became the center of attention at my own wedding. She wanted to do “something special for me”…Read More
I wish upon a star and … nothing happened. I had so many dreams, some big some small. Some became true and some died before I even started trying.Read More
"I sculpt beautiful, voluptuous, fierce women. My raw material is emotion, my medium is bronze."
This is the first sentence of my biography as internationally collected bronze sculptor. Since 1999, I've put "femininity into three dimensions, capturing the power, glamor, beauty and vulnerability of the female form in bold yet sensuous bronze. My work represents some of the powerful and fierce women. Those who could be seen in fashion magazines or in daily life: entrepreneurs, businesswomen, mothers and spouses who need to fit in so many different roles that they forget their own self."
My raw material has always been emotion but for the past six years, I have changed medium from clay, concrete and bonze to pure human potential.
Seeing a woman (or a man) going through a challenging time feels little bit like being faced with a pack of clay: a block of raw material, knowing there is a gem, the essence of fabulousness hidden in its core. I see the potential. I know it's here. But sometimes knowing it is not enough.
When working with clay, I am the artist. When I work with you, you are the master revealing your inner magic power. You are the one uncovering your inner light and expressing your potential. I'm just here to witness this marvelous self expression and help you in this journey.
Here are the steps you will have to take to reveal who you are and manifest what you want.
Remove what doesn't serve
Creating a sculpture starts with removing the excess of material. When you work on yourself, you start the same way: remove the blocks, the limitations, the doubts and anxiety. Let go of the hurts and limiting beliefs.
As the sculpture emerge it expends in every direction. As you emerge, you stretch out, you try new ideas and challenge yourself. You need an armature to not fall down. When working with clay, sticks and pieces of wood will suffice. Working with your soul, the armature is made of values, affirmations and visualization of the direction you want to take.
Try a gesture or another one until you find the one that speak to your soul. In human equivalent, this step is about trying new ideas, getting out of your comfort zone.
Discover your true potential
As the sculpture emerge, a line will catch my eye and I will work on it increasing it or diminishing it to create an harmonious pattern. This is your chance to actually work on your own patterns. What are they? Do they support you or limit you? Which part of you do you want to strengthen and which part should you let go of
Grow in balance and harmony
In art like in life, beauty resides in balance. As you are reaching for your true potential, what is important for you. What would you like more of, and how can you prioritize that without forgetting about the other part of your life?
Play with the light
A sculpture beauty resides in the impression it makes. In order to create and impression and have an impact on this planet, you have to be seen. Light, lines, planes, deep cuts, this is your time to express yourself and show to the word who you really are.
Polish and finish
Smooth or rough, it all depend on the piece and the effect I want it to have. This is the time for the last finishing touch. Let's put some color and go out in the word. What is Your role in this society? What is Your magic about? How will You impact this planet?
This is your time to shine
Whether you will finish in a museum recognized as a masterpiece or creating change in a smaller scale just around you, this is your time. You are the sculptor of your life. Go out and live it.
Are you ready to create some art? Are you ready to manifest your life? To be the YOU you are supposed to be? I can't wait to see you. You are the master of your destiny.
And if you need some guidance, reach out for help.
Sunday March 11 - 6 to 8pm
Sunday evening and you are feeling alone?
You're going through a rough patch, a divorce or a breakup and you would like some guidance? How about joining us for a happiness circle. A sacred, caring and peaceful and respectful space where we are here for each other and to learn tools to get back on our feet faster.
Let's meet every second Sunday of the month. :)
The happiness circle will have a monthly theme based on a tool that will help you move faster after a heartbreak. We will share story but also tools.
Help!!!! I’m turning 50. I want to hide and celebrate and hide at the same time. I never thought it would happen. 50 was a number for my parents and older people but not for me but guess what happened.Read More
10 lessons I learned from having the fluRead More
I received my new passport: Fabienne S. Slama. I don’t really like the photo but after all, I never liked my passport photos. This is such an exciting moment and I want to celebrate.
Five years ago, I went through divorce after a twenty-year marriage. From the age of 24 to the age of 44 I had become Fabienne S. Bismuth, using my husband’s name as it is the tradition in many family. I took that name with joy. I took that name with honor. I took that name entirely and fully so much so that on top of leaving my last name, I let go of my identity. I didn’t notice it at first: I was in love. I was okay with it: that was the way to show I was married to my husband. But after few years I noticed that I didn’t exist anymore. Little by little I had become my husband’s wife and my kids’ mom. Me didn’t exist anymore.
How many women make the same choice? I know we have made a lot of progress in today society, still many of us let go of their career, of their passion and in many ways of their identity to support the one they live with. “Behind each good man, there is a great woman” is often true and most of the time behind each successful man, there is a woman who chose to make herself second to support her family.
My divorce was painful and scary. I had to relearn to support myself financially. More importantly, I had to relearn to support myself emotionally and learn to live on my own again.
I was blessed to have the tools I had that allowed me back on my feet emotionally in less than a year. In my book “Renaissance woman”, I explain that the beginning in a transition is The End.
The first year of my journey was The End of Fabienne Bismuth, the end of my life as a married woman and the end of the shy, dependent, scared woman I had become of the years
The second year I entered The Limbo phase. At first it was an exhilarating moment of fun and join where I tried to find my new self. I started dating again and I have to admit I had a lot of fun and new experiences. During that year, I traveled a lot, I jumped form an airplane to show to myself I was not scared anymore and I challenged my values to see who I wanted to be.
I only started to calm down during my third year after a terrible heartbreak. I had fallen in love and I had recreated the exact same pattern. I let myself disappear for a man. I had gone against who I wanted to be just to be with him. We had an amazing time together but all my life started to evolve according to his needs again. The problem during the Limbo phase is that you tend to recreate your old pattern. Finally, we broke up and I was lucky to find a man who showed me I could be loved being fully me. I will be eternally grateful for this man. Even though we didn’t stay together he gave me the best gift of love: the certitude that I am perfect the way I am and that I deserve to be here.
Year four was about reconstruction and reclaiming the warrior part of me. I went from Fabienne to Fab, to Dr. Fab recognizing the diploma I never really used and stepping into my power as a business owner, empowering women and men to let go of limiting beliefs to live their best life. That year was all about business and rebuilding the new me. It was also about defining what I really wanted in a relationship and be fully okay on my own.
As I’m entering year five. I reclaim my full identity, the one I was born with. I am Fabienne Sophie Allegra Slama. A woman with her doubt and her strength. A perfectly imperfect human being who can move mountains an instant and cry in her car the next one. Someone who is not afraid to feel her feelings because she knows they are all worthy of being heard. Five years to be reborn. Five years to be totally fine being me.
I look at my brand-new passport. I’m not sure I love the photo but after all who really love their passport photo. I don’t care, I love the woman in this photo and I’m ready to claim me 2.0. Now let’s use this passport and visit the world.
Sometimes you are scared of something really good for you. My client was scared of drinking water.Read More
Happiness is made of little moments, little choices.
Happiness is when you decide to smile in the morning and focus on the positive instead of the negative.
Happiness is when you let go of what is not serving you: a toxic relationship, a dismissive belief, an old story...
Happiness is a reminder to you that you are perfectly imperfect. That pain is inevitable but that you control the suffering this pain creates in you and around you.
Sometimes life happens and you crumble under pressure. Too much work, too much stress, not enough money, feeling lonely. When this happens, it's natural to react in two different ways: you can feel like a victim and feel sad, even depressed or you can feel angry and fight. That's what we often describe as the freeze, fight, fly response.
Getting a "negative" or "catabolic" response to the stress of life is not the problem. The problem is: how much are you staying stuck in this response?
If you have been stuck for way too long, it may be time to do something about it. There are many tools to move up on the scale from catabolic to anabolic energy.*
The number one tool is to feel and acknowledge your feelings.
You have the right to feel the way you feel and beating yourself up for feeling that way won't help. So feel it and then let go. Fighting the feeling will actually increase it over time and even if you can forget about it for a while, it will reappear later on in your life when you least expect it.
Obviously there is more than one tool to release stress: EFT or Tapping, Therapeutic shaking, exercise, walking in nature, meditation and so many more.
One thing I do every day is to ask myself, how do I feel today? And if there is something to address, I address the feeling right away, before it becomes a monster.
Breathing, Feeling, Smiling! Have a FabYOUlicious day :)
*The Energy Pyramid is an excerpt from my book Renaissance Woman: A Feminine Midlife Crisis from Loss of identity to rebirth. Order your copy of the book here.
Welcome to this New Year. Welcome to New dreams. Letting go of the past. Nothing can be changed anymore. it's behind us and a bright new future is ahead.
Every year starts with a smile and a hope that this year will be different, that we will loose this extra weight, make this extra income, run that marathon or achieve the dream we never reached. Each year we are full of hope and resolutions and most of the time we let those resolution slip through our fingers way too quickly.
Want real change? Here are my 5 secrets to get there:
- Be grateful of what was good in 2016. Let get of what was bad. After all it's behind you.
- Embrace the unknown. Every day I see people afraid of this blank page in front of them. Don't worry. If you have a blank page, it's for you to draw or write anything you want on it.
- Don't try to change everything at once. Not everything has to change on one day. You can choose your new beginning any time you want.
- Take the time to feel why you want to change something. Find the first steps you need to take. Embrace the way you will feel once you achieve your goal. Wanting is not enough. You have to feel it in your guts.
- Reach out for help. Find an accountability partner. Hire a Coach. Sign up with this trainer. Sometimes it's easier when you have a team by your side.
You can do it!!! Get started .... Welcome 2017. You're going to be amazing.
What are your dreams for 2017? Please let me know :)
We all feel stressed at one point or another of our life. But it’s fair to say that considering divorce or dealing with the aftermath of one is very high in the scale of stress. For some it can even be one of the most stressful event they will ever experience.
If you want to know how you tend to react to stress and how you can react differently, this article is for you.Read More
Going in the middle of the afternoon to my local supermarket. 4 lines opened. All packed. I choose to stand behind an older man who has just a boxed meal in his cart. The woman in front of him has a full cart but it should not take that long…. Or maybe it should. Couple minutes pass. We still don’t move.
As we are complaining that we chose the wrong lane, he starts sharing with me that he comes here every day to get his dinner. His wife of 40 years passed last April and since then he barely can get out of the house once a day to get one meal. They have no kid, no family members. They were all for each other and I just stay there listening to him as he tells me about the last week of her life, the funeral by himself, and then that, a life he doesn’t know what to do about.
I listen and then ask him what type of woman she was. His eyes light up as he tells me how they met as he retired as a Navy officer. He was probably a strong guy and she was this outgoing bubbly woman who liked to buy nice dresses :). He smiles thinking of her and they tears comes to his eyes. It’s so hard to see a grown up man cry in silence. He tells me he is good with computer, that he once had a company and maybe he should try to do something. One step at a time.
Today was his day to share with a perfect stranger. The line didn’t move for over 10 minute and none of us moved to the next lane that was now empty. My role was just to hold space for him. His role was to be vulnerable and say his pain. There are sometime as an emotional healer the most generous gift you can share is the gift of your time, undivided attention and listen the person in pain.
As I am launching my program Heartbreak 911, I realize that this encounter was not coincidence. A way for him to express his feeling, a way for me to get a dose of humility and recognize that sometimes there is nothing I can do beyond being present as a human being.
A perfect encounter.